Hello Strength Seekers and Badasses, Urban Achievers EVERY ONE!

Hemingway here.  The following is the perfect storm of a geek with a HUGE Big Lebowski obsession, a fixation on Kettlebell Training, and a SHITLOAD of free time. If you can keep a secret, dear reader, Dan John and I are spending time in the garage crafting the ultimate Lebowski workout.  When it is finished, you will hear it here first, dear Achievers. Until then,  I give you all....the Kettlebell/Lebowski table:

Dude, here is my dance quintet, you know my cycle? Welcome to Crane Jackson's Fountain Street Theatre....
Two of my favorite things, Lebowski and kettlebells. Here it goes....

48 kg--Jackie Treehorn. He'll knock your ass out. Hell of a Caucasian Jackie.

40 kg--The Big Lebowski. He rolls around, abusing everyone. Not even Walter can hold him for long.

32Kg--The Walter. Ultimate badass. You are entering a world of pain, but he'll get you a toe Dude, he'll get you a toe by three o'clock this afternoon, with polish. Not for fucking amateurs, unless you want to see what happens when you fuck a stranger in the ass.

28Kg--The Stranger. I like your style Dude. But be warned, If you're tossing this around, you might find yourself using a lot a'cuss words.

24 Kg--THE DUDE!!! The 24 Kg is the Dude because it is the test bell, and the Dude is tested so much. He's the man for his time and place. Pair him with the Walter (32k) for an amazing Loaded Carry. I call it the handoff. Bring your dirty undies. The whites. The ringer cannot look empty. Dude's car will get a little banged up.

20 Kg--Donny. Donny is the guy that gets tossed around and then eventually lost while we try to get to the Dude. We kind of take him for granted, but we need him. He is the Walrus. He's throwing rocks tonight. You're dead in the water.

16kg--The Jesus. Fucking Quintana. Creep can roll man. Great for beginner single arm pressing, just like the Jesus' opening move during the Spanish Hotel California.

12kg--The Maude. Where the ladies want to be. Delicate, yet strong. Tangle with her, and see what condition your condition is in. Use her with the Dude for a double loaded windmill, or what I call, "coitus" or "Jeffery, love me."

10kg--The Bunny. Easy to Snatch. She probably kidnapped herself. I'll just go find a cash machine.

8kg--Smokey!! Mark it eight Dude. These are for pacifists, for the fragile, the very fragile.

6kg--The Brandt. This is our concern Dude. Can be viewed as unnecessary, but under-rated.

Hopefully the Coen Brothers will not sue my super fan-boy ass for this.  It was a labor of love dudes!